Scary, Scary, Scariness

In the beginning, there was God. And he did talk to some bloke called
Abraham, and Abraham did some things with his son and a lamb, and God
saw that it was good. Then God did talk to Moses and Aaron, and
persuade them, and an entire race of people to take up extreme desert
ulrtramarathoning from Egypt to Israel. And God did see that it was
good (if a little tiring). God did then rest for many years, until he
was bored, and did pick some poor unfortunate called Jesus to be a
prophet, and cause him to be executed by the Romans.
Many more years did pass, and God did have an identity crisis. Bored
again, God did simultaneously (theologically speaking), talk to a guy
called Mohammed, and create an entire set of Kingdoms and realms for
an Indian named Siddharta Gautama to discover, explore, and invite
others to be quiet for a very long time, and explore with him too.
God saw that he had inspired many nations, through many forms of
herself, and had caused many people to see along a common theme of
being nice, and ignoring CofE hymns, which he granted to Lucifer in
return for a section of hell to heat his hot-tub, God saw all was
good. He did rest for many centuries, and recline in clouds, playing
table tennis on Wednesday evenings with his host of Angels. But the
twentieth century did come, and God did go off his rocker. He did
whisper sweet nothings into already unstable men, and inspire them to
take their riches, and build an ENOURMOUS gold plated shrine in
Japan. He told these men to tell others that shining crystals at soil
counted as organic farming, and that people could be healed by
shining these same crystals at them. The men were inspired to build a
neon fish tank to line this shrine - as God did say she liked feeding
the fish, especially those little blue twinkly ones.
Then God did come to his senses, did stop eating the sushi, and did
see that he was talking to mentals. She did realise her mistake, and
did make the rest of the world wary and cynical about such scary,
scary, crazies.

I shit you not. http://www.sukyomahikari.org/
Guess how I spent my day.